Christmas Baking Marathon

Last night I had my friend, Jackie in for our annual baking marathon. Ok, its my baking marathon but Jackie comes along for the ride. I must say we were especailly good this year. We made peanut butter balls, marshmellow treats, melting moments cookies and peanut butter fudge in about 2 1/2 hours! I was really impressed! So that, plus the few treats I've bought for Christmas and I think we're ready to go from the baking end of things!

A Full Heart

December 19, 2006

Last night after work Chad & I went over to the Billington’s for Autumn’s birthday supper. She turned the big 2-0! I know Chad found it hard to believe his little sister was all grown up. Sharon, as usual, put on a massive spread of food! Gosh, I haven’t felt that full in ages. Meatballs, mashed potatoes, carrots, corn, brown rolls….and then Marble cake with gooey chocolate icing and way too much ice-cream! I then we wondered why we had to lay on the floor and moan discomfort!

Savanna, of course is a riot! What a hoot! The extra sugar from the chocolate and ice-cream probably didn’t help! Autumn got this cool Winnie the Pooh and friends dancing thing that played Christmas songs and Savanna loved it. She would dance, bending her knees a tiny bit, but she’s a head banger! She would just stand there, bopping her head like a cool dude. I thought I was going to cry laughing at her! Over and over again she’d say Momma, Nanna, Poppa, Doug and Kad (for Chad), of course also Ned and Mudd (her imaginary friends we think) and I don’t remember the other guys name, and then toward the end of the night she just pointed at me and said Heidi! I couldn’t believe it! I have a harder name to say so I didn’t expect her to get it for a while, but it was clear as day and totally made my birthday week! She’s such a doll! And has the most adorable smile!

Autumn opened her birthday gifts (with the big and potentially embarrassing Christmas present on the way at Christmas) and then I got to open my gifts! Autumn and Savanna gave me these adorable gingerbread men that bob—how I love gingerbread men! And Sharon and Gary gave me a box of mint chocolates (oh yum---goodbye waist goodbye) and the cutest wooden snowman head with a tree cut out in the hat and a light inside. It sounds weird but it is so great and sits in my window at home—I love him! But more than anything I love the card Autumn gave me. When I read it I didn’t know what to think, I was stunned, trying not to cry. It was so beautiful and I will treasure it forever. It said that she thought of me often and was so happy I was part of the family. Honestly I have found it hard coming into a new family and wondering at times if they would just prefer I hadn’t taken Chad away from them, I know the change hasn’t been easy on them either. It meant so much to me to know that she likes me, I hope over time to develop a better relationship. My cherished gift this year, is that card.

So in tummy agony, but full heart we went home for the night and I hit the sack early so that I would feel more rested for work today, than yesterday. The birthday week continues.

Birthday WEEK!

The Birthday Week has arrived! Saturday night I had plans to go out for dinner with Betty Anne, Shelley and Amy—girls night. It was fun! We went to Jungle Jims in Oromocto, where the boil order is still in play so we all bought JUMBO pop—YIKES! The food was really late coming so we just kept drinking and drinking and drinking. I had no idea how much I had downed until the end of dinner when I looked up and realized I’d had at least 2 ½ Jumbo Diet Pepsi. No wonder my back teeth were floating (as my Mom would say).

Then we came back to my place for coffee and chat and the girls surprised me with birthday gifts and Dairy Queen Birthday cake! How nice! Betty Anne informs me that when you get older you no longer have birthDAY but birthday WEEK. This sounds good to me! I don’t mind being spoiled at all! FUN!

I’m actually really excited about turning 27. I’ve always thought that my 27th year was going to be filled with good things. So bring it on!

These are a few of my favorite things!

1. Eggnog or Hot Chocolate? Both! But Eggnog just at Christmas, with a little nutmeg on top, sitting in the living room (in front of the fire if we had one) with all the lights off but the tree and candles—listen to the beauty of the Christmas Tree sing!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Oh! He’s GOT to wrap them! Absolutely necessary! Because you don’t see Santa’s gifts until the morning when you wake up the suspense is just crazy, wondering what can possibly be in that box!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Absolutely coloured, although ironically enough we have white lights on our deck and little birch tree this year. But that’s just because that is all Marden’s had on sale. (You should have bought it when you saw it at Mardens!) Eventually when we’re rolling in doe it will be coloured for sure! But absolutely coloured on the tree, no give or take there.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? I've always wanted to. Mom & Dad had a plastic mistletoe they would hang at Christmas when I was a kid, not that it made much of a difference then, but Id like to have some now. Fun!

5. When do you put your decorations up? When we can find some time! But I do have a rule, no Christmas music or decorations until after Remembrance Day. Usually we get our tree around the second weekend of December and decorate then.

6 What is your favourite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? This is a tricky one, I love so many different holiday foods! Excluding dessert helps. I love dressing (the way my Mom does it) and the turkey, but probably one of my favourites is the hot turkey sandwiches with French fries that we make with the leftovers, the day after….yum yum….oh the gravy….and pees….

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Christmas Eve Mom would be putting together a huge spread of treats, appetizers etc. and we would have run around all day dropping off everyone’s gifts. Us girls would often watch a Christmas Special on while Mom got ready and then Dad would put a fire in the fireplace and we would all play our instruments, even Mom would play, and Mom would read the Christmas story. It was a time we were all together, just quiet and not running with the regular business, and just enjoying each other. Eventually we would hang our socks and go to bed and I remember whispering with my sisters across the hall, trying to fall asleep before Santa came. This was such a special time when my family would just stop and hit pause on life and enjoy each other.

8. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? No. Christmas Eve was always about focusing on Jesus’ birth and sacred more quiet family time. We saved the Christmas gifts for Christmas Day and I can’t imagine doing it any other way.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Usually the evening after we get our Christmas tree and the branches have fallen Chad puts up the lights, thank goodness I hate that job! And then we take all of our ornaments, some we made as children, others we collected along the way, and some we’ve gotten together and hang them. Then I put on the ribbon after, loving the effect and doing my best not to curse the process! Then we sit around after and enjoy the lights and maybe some holiday eggnog and Christmas music.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it and I so desperately want a sleigh ride this year! I can’t imagine Christmas without snow, but it’s not looking good this year. I do get really really sick of snow come February, but generally I love it and count it a necessity at Christmastime.

12. Do you remember your favorite gift? I think every year of my life I’ve had a favourite gift. My Mom always tells the story about the year when I was really little and as she put me to bed Christmas Eve she asked what it was I wanted from Santa, and out of the blue, completely different then what I had said all year long, I said I wanted Lego. She nearly died! All the stores were closed, everything was shut down and Santa had not bought me any Lego! Dad assured her I would be thrilled with all of my Christmas gifts in the morning and forget all about it. But Christmas morning came and I was visibly upset I had not received any Lego. Near the very end of all the gift giving I opened a present from my Aunt that had a tiny package of Lego in with it and I was thrilled! I had my lego! Then I remember the year I got my stereo, yes stereo! And my typewriter, I was going to be novelist, and so many others! Last year one of my favourites was a bunch of stones my sister had painted and decorated for every season for when I have my own classroom.

13. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Taking a bit of time to reflect on the significance of Jesus coming to earth to offer every human regardless of stature, culture, race or gender true hope and life. And spending some “quality” time with family and friends, and having the opportunity to express my love for them in a more tangible way than I might during the year.

14. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Peanut Butter Balls. Since I was a kid they were my favortie! Mom hated rolling them out so since we were really little my sisters and I would always roll them for her and she would dip them. Of course we ate nearly a third of what we rolled but it was so much fun! I like them when they’ve just come out of the freezer and they’ve thawed but not so much that they are gooey sweet! I also love them the way my Mom makes them of course! With ricecrispies!

15. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Same as my favourite Christmas memory as a child. (Christmas Eve Mom would be putting together a huge spread of treats, appetizers etc. and we would have run around all day dropping off everyone’s gifts. Us girls would often watch a Christmas Special on while Mom got ready and then Dad would put a fire in the fireplace and we would all play our instruments, even Mom would play, and Mom would read the Christmas story. It was a time we were all together, just quiet and not running with the regular business, and just enjoying each other. Eventually we would hang our socks and go to bed and I remember whispering with my sisters across the hall, trying to fall asleep before Santa came. This was such a special time when my family would just stop and hit pause on life and enjoy each other.)

16. What tops your tree? Nothing right now, but I remember the year that my Mom and I spent over an hour sitting on the floor at K-Mart going through all the beautiful Angel tree tops and finding the one that had the most perfect face. I’m looking for something similar for our tree and until I find it I will settle for nothing less!

17. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Absolutely giving! (Not that I don't like getting presents too) How much fun it is to think of a gift you think your loved one will love or enjoy and then wait for them to open it. This is the hardest part for me! If I think I’ve found something they love I want them to have it right away! I guess the anticipation for me about their gifts is greater than about my own gifts a lot of the time!

18. What is your favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night and The little Drummer Boy

19. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? Yum! I don’t get super crazy excited about them or anything, but after a meal, or dinner out or something I do enjoy sucking on a peppermint one for awhile. Kinda nice. And I love Candy Cane ice cream! Yum yum!

The Pressure Cooker heats up again

I had an interesting and passing conversation with a dear friend this afternoon. I was commenting on the recent news that I’ve been handing out dirty looks lately. I was telling her how I was surprised, that I used to be known for my smile, not my scowl, and then she said something surprising. She said I didn’t smile anymore. Unfortunately I didn’t get to “unpack that” (as Dr. Phil would say) with her, but had to run off.

Wow, what a lot to think about. One of my dear and trusted friends thinks I don’t smile anymore. I did have time to mention that is has been a really difficult year for me, but this came with more interesting comments, left unpacked, about the importance of choosing to smile and be happy regardless of how I feel, as that is ministry to people and what they need. I got thinking about this, a lot tonight. Of course, the tears are falling too, because I’m a sensitive shmuck.

Is that what I want to be about? Maybe that is what being married to a Pastor has been about for years, but I’m not sure I’m game for that being what I’m about. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to harm my husband’s ministry…but is it not alright for me to show up to church as I am to worship God, be that happy, sad, tired, disgusted, ticked off? Is it not alright for a Pastor to go to church the same? No, I don’t mean pouring his/my heart and soul to every passer by, but not hiding a rough time either, putting on pretend happiness, is this ministry?

I have had one of the most difficult years of my life this past year, and although some people would hate to have to know that, and most people will pretend they don’t know, is forcing a smile really what people need? When I think of it over the past year, I have had more “ministry moments” because I was real about where I’m at, then I have had in more “cheery times”. I have had numerous people come to me and thank me for being real, that I was a breath of fresh air, in a trend of phoney Christianity. Why shouldn’t this be the way it is in the church? Is it not there, more than anywhere where people need to see that God meets us where we’re at, not necessarily making everything shinny happy smiling, but holding us when times are difficult.

So all of this to say, I’m going to continue being ME. This is all I know how to be really, and trying to be something else just isn’t going to work for me, regardless of how much pressure I feel to fit into the mould. Yeah, there will be those who really want a plastic smiling Pastor’s wife, but I’m afraid they are going to have to keep looking. I won’t give in to the pressure, I will be there for those who really need a fresh dose of how it is. Someone who knows what it’s like to be there and won’t pretend, but is also sure that God is meeting us where we’re at, making all the difference. Jesus certainly didn’t pretend. It’s time, now more than ever, to be real.

The Beautiful Savanna!

Our beautiful niece Savanna in her Christmas duds.

Merry Christmas from Chad & I

just another dirty look

So it's true, I was out for coffee with someone this past week, and yet another person mentioned that someone thought I was angry with them because I was giving them dirty looks. Perhaps I am inwardly angry, perhaps they are deeply insecure, but I have to wonder why it is I seem to give off dirty looks, or people seems to percieve dirty looks from me regularly?

Do these same people get dirty looks from everyone? or percieve themselves as recieving dirty looks from everyone? or is it really just me? Do I screw my face up in strange ways when I'm thinking? Do I make faces when I have gas? Do my contacts dry up, bringing on sqwishy eyes? I am intimidating with my strong pressence? Funny how I thought I was generally friendly...what happened?

Did I loose my friendliness? Did I become cold? When did I start giving out dirty looks over smiles? Or is this all just a bunch of crap I should let sift as quickly out of my brain as it came it to it? But what is the common denominator--let us make this about math...

6 days sont disparu!

Ok, so the last day I blogged was 6 days ago, which begs the question, what have I been up to these past 6 days that I couldn't find the time to blog. I always find time for the blog--the blog is my friend...he he. Okay now I'm just being weird.

Well, unfortunatly last monday morning found me sick, but I think I mentioned that last post. Nasty flu bug. Tuesday was a bunch the same, so really I'd say I did absoltuly nothing worth mentioning in those two days.

Wednesday found me working at school, and contemplating another day face first in the toilet bowl--you're welcome for the vivid imagery. But by Wednesday night I was up and about for the finale of The Marriage Course. A good night. A recommended course for sure.

Thursday found me with choir practice and a do nothing morning and afternoon, which I enjoyed emensly, I'm sorry to admit. We're preparing for our Cookies and Carols Christmas Concert next week, which should be a fun time. Then to my absolute horror, even after hurrying home from practice, there was no Grey's Anatomy-which I must admit just doesn't make Thursday nights the same!

So bring on Friday--a full day. I did work the day, which was good, and then came home long enough to throw together my rice for the potluck. Because Chad was out again introducing the Lapointes Christmas concert, we ended up running late for the caroling at the hospital, so we visited with friends of ours who just had their first baby, she is adorable! little Ella! Then we headed off for the rest of the caroling party which ended up at the church for potluck. Good times--oh and Chad went again to introduce the Lapointes second set of concert.

Saturday didn't dawn early-which is absolute bliss for me. I love to sleep in! And after I got up and while Chad was at the church working on the Youth Christmas Play's lights--I cleaned up the house preparing for...THE TREE....

Saturday around 4pm we headed out the Mazoroll Settlement Road to pick and as Chad would say, murder, our very own Christmas tree! It is so exciting! last year was the first year I'd ever gone to a farm and cut my very own tree down and until it becomes too difficult, I say it's a must do! So we found the perfect tree of course! Chad wanted a scrawny one, but I got my way and I must say it is perfect! We got it up and it only fell over once!

So today was church. Which I managed to sneak out of by accident, falling asleep after I dropped Chad off at church this morning. Tonight's Youth play was beyond fabulous--the best I've seen at SSC! And tonight Chad put the lights on the tree, so tomorrow is go to Houlton and pay on teh blasted student loan, and finish decorating the tree--assuming work doesn't call.

So that's my boring life! Advent basket has remained fun though! :)

Thinking Christian

Is it possible to come up with an ad, that lasts just over a minute and yet symbolizes all that you believe about Christianity? I think it is....check it out if you dare! http://www.thinkchristian.net/?p=960
I have a new favorite site.....oh gosh....Think...Christian....think...Christian....thinking Christian

snow day...dec. FOUR

It was a beautiful snowy day today, unfortunatly the snow arrived only after several hours of vomitting and sick stomach misery for me, around 3am this morning. Gross. I hate being sick. Not that anybody much likes it. I haven't been sick much in the last few years, so I guess I was due. So I spent much of the day sleeping, (of course when I did finally get out of bed Chad met me with today's advent present-- scotch tape for more wrapping ) I watched a little t.v. in my jammies, nursing my upset stomach, then I had a long nap this afternoon and I've been feeling tons better since then.

The snow is so beautiful and the flakes were so fluffy today. I love looking out the window and imagining it is a snowglobe of my neighborhood. If only I could paint. I spent some of my sick afternoon on my living room couch watching our neighbor through the window as he shoveled his driveway and played with his very young little girl in the snow. They looked like they were having so much fun! She was all bundled up, hardly able to walk. She would fill her arms with snow and waddle over to her Dad who would pretend he didn't see her coming. She would walk right up to him until she could touch him and then dump the snow on his legs or boots. He would then jump back looking shocked, and she'd run off gleefully to fill her arms with more snow. Made me want to go out and play too.

Tonight Chad & I got our Christmas cards ready to head out the door. I'm quite pleased with our relative promptness on this one!

Well I'm headed to bed, feeling better and hoping to stay that way. Tomorrow will be better. Happy snow day!

December THREE!

So it's the third of December already! Hard to believe! Chad woke me at 7:30, as is our custom on Sunday mornings when I don't have to be to choir practice and early service, and I drove him in, but not before he met me in the doorway with today's advent present--stamps to mail our cards!,

Then I came home for a quiet and slower paced morning of getting ready. I must admit I really enjoy that, I hate rushing in the morning, but more than the dislike of rushing is the dislike of getting out of bed! Usually I've been up too long by the time I drive Chad in to work, and I get back home, to go back to bed when I get back home, so today I made myself some toast with raspberry jam, and some tea and watched Coronation Street---I admit it I love the British soaps--I can't help myself, it's a vice. I mean I don't go out of my way to watch it, usually I'm at church, but those mornings when I get the chance, it's one of the things that linger from my non-church days. Anyway, I got myself ready for the second service and went in.

Following service Chad and I came home for a yummy salad with chicken and rasins and sunflower seeds and cheese, I'm telling you it was THE salad!

Evening service approached and tonight was the kids Christmas production. Our SS KIDS Theatre, is a new ministry in our church this fall and Melanie Murray and her crew did a fabulous job tonight! Every Sunday evening, during the regular evening service this group gets together with the kids ages 3 through grade 5 to work on drama, dance and choral--and wow have they been working hard! What a show! Hats off to them!

December TWO!

So Saturday, December two had come and gone. A rather quiet Saturday, as I often like it. I slept till 10am, as is my custom when left to my natural tendencies. Then I got up and Chad & I opened out advent present, really cool decorated Christmas cards, and then I spent the afternoon working on a Christmas project and watching movies, oh right and eating gucamole-yummy yummy. Then Chad & I went outside and tried to take a Christmas photo. I'm laughing right now, because now that I think abou it it was a strange idea. I thought we should take some coloured lights and wrap them around us and take the pic!, so now we've got these Christmas photo's that look like I'm strangling Chad in Christmas lights-the truth comes out. After this we ran out to the Bridges of Canada Christmas dinner. It was really nice. Tons of turkey, tons of people, and great stories about how God has changed the lives of real people.

It's December ONE!

Happy first of December folks, as the icy rain pellets hit the window pane of our cozy mini home my mind wanders back to the days before elnino and elnarmo and elisa...anyway, to the days when December meant snow, white, fluffy, pleasant, warm, sweet on your tongue unless a dog got there first, snow. Will it come? All I've ever wanted for my birthday was snow...and most years I get it-let this year not be the first without! I'm actually really excited about my 27th year. Yup, I've thought since I was seven years old, that 27 would be the year of good things-bring it on.

Until then my lovely Mom has entertained Chad & I with an advent basket. Today was the first day we could open a gift. It was actually quite funny, last night a little past eleven we're lying in bed and I say, you know it's almost the first of december, in little under and hour....and Chad suggests we stay up for midnight to open up our gift, it was just killing us! Common sense kicked in and a desire not to be tardy to work this morning, and we decided if we were still awake at midnight we would get up and open it, otherwise we would wait until morning. At 11:31pm, I still thought we would make it, but we didn't we fell asleep and had it to open this morning.

I thought I did the really polite thing and I told Chad he could open it if he wanted to, this day anyway, I don't know if I'll always be so generous, ok, I know I won't always be so generous. Anyway, we were thrilled to open up chocolate advent calandars, but get this-it was one for each of us, so we don't have to share! I guess my Mom knows us to well and didn't want us fighting so close to the holidays! :) to bed for this sleepy head---advent #2 tomorrow!

I'm a Novelist!

I did it! I made the wire, actually, I had several hours to spare! the 50,000 word mark has been past and I have been successful at reaching a deadline! Check it out! I'm a Nanowrimo Winner!
Check it out here if you're interested http://www.nanowrimo.org/userinfo.php?uid=168361

The New Music Teacher

I got a job today! Well I had the interview and was offered the position and accepted. It doesn't start until February first, but it should be a blast. I will be the music teacher for Kindergarten through Grade Five! reading over the curriculum it sound like a blast to me!

I am so thankful to have some solid work. What a strain the last few months have been on me (ok, slight underexaggeration). They have been difficult.

They told me today that they wanted to pull me in for interviews for the other jobs I have applied for this past month but were unable to due to a computer glitch in the system saying I was only willing to teach LA & SS. I found this extreemly frustrating, but have to believe there is a plan bigger than computer glitches and communication problems. It was nice to hear they wanted me though.

So until February 1st, I will do some supplying at the school, hopefully, getting to know the ropes around there, and organize myself for the remainder of the school year. What a blast! Teaching music! how fun!

did you see, did you see?

Yup made it to 41,810 words today. I think we're gonna make it by Friday folks. Novel Writing month is nearly over and we're gonna make it.

Christmas Advent Basket

Today my Mom, Dad, Nanny and Grampy joined Chad and I at Swiss Chalet for the Festive special at lunch after church. It is always such a treat when they come up to visit even if it is just for a couple of hours. I love having them around, and each time they leave I feel some regret at living 2 hours away. Yes, it's still much closer than many, but even just being a few hours away you miss out on so many things, no dropping by after work, no stop in suppers, or meeting everyone at the Santa Claus parade. Anyway, making me long to have them closer was not the point of their visit.

The POINT, was to bring Chad and I up a Christmas Advent basket, all wrapped, each day starting December 1st we get to open one gift, and it is lableled. So the fight will be on to see who gets to open each gift. So now they sit, staring at me from across the living room, begging me to touch them, shake them, feel them and it is taking every bit of self control I have to not go over and do all those things, well that and the fear that I might just figure out what one of the things are, spoiling the fun for myself. How fun! I will keep you updated on what special Christmas treats we get!

AND Mom & Dad, Nanny & Grampy brought up all of our Christmas gifts from the Moncton area. Goodness our living room certainly looks like Christmas is coming now! Mom was afraid we might not be able to get down at all before Christmas and couldn't bare the thought of us not having our gifts from them Christmas morning. So they too, stare at me from across the living room, begging me to touch them, shake them, feel them....they are pretty, I wonder what they are...

Chad & I are staying in town this Christmas. We decided last year running to each family's Christmas was too hard and we didn't feel like we had one of our own. So we will do our Christmas Eve services, and create our own traditions, meeting up with Chad's family around noon Christmas Day, and going down to Moncton to visit for a few days after the craziness has settled down. Sounds like a plan at least, we'll see how we make out.

The Nativity Story

Chad and I had the opportunity of viewing The Nativity Story thursday morning at the theatres before it comes December 1st, and I must say I would recommend you go see it. It is well done. Of course there are moments where you want a little more creativity, stepping away from the text a bit more, adding some creative license, but overall it is well done and something worth seeing.
It is also another movie, like the Passion of the Christ, and the Chronicles of Narnia where we are given a rare opportunity in movie going history. Besides some films made in the 50's relating to Bible stories and such, this offers those of us who believe, more movie going opportunities, to see some creative interpretation of stories we cherish. There is also a significant bit of historical context that we might not otherwise consider when reading, hearing , or experiencing the Nativity Story at Christmas for another year. This alone is enough of a reason to get off of our butts and out to see the movie, supporting more of this type of thing in the future.
It will be interesting to see what non-believing people have to say about such a fantasitical story, a virgin giving birth to God. I certainly would be interested to take some of my friends out to it and have a discussion afterwards.
More than anything, the message that Jesus came to earth for the lowest of people and the highest of people resounds through the movie and is a message of hope for all at Christmas, one of the most difficult seasons for many.
The soundtrack sounds awesome and I look forward to getting my hands on a copy of it.

Go see it! and bring a friend! I was shocked last year during my internship as Christmas approached and the middle school students began discussing the Christmas story. Many of them did not know it all all, or peiced together bits and peices, some girl named Mary, got together with some guy named David and had baby Jesus. There is much confusion, don't take it for granted that people know!
http://www.thenativitystory.com/

Turkey Hunting

Well Happy American Thanksgiving to all you Yankee's out there! Chad and I celelbrated a little yankee thankee of our own last monday and drove down to Houlton ME to pay our US student loan and go turkey hunting. Americans have amazing deals on frozen turkeys just before their Thanksgiving and we certainly found a deal. I must admit I got just a tad excited when we rounded the bend in the grocery store and there was the largest turkey I had ever seen. It was massive. One big 25lb frozen bird for just $16.00--Wow! Chad kept saying "Heidi that one is really big...we could get one smaller..." but I kept insisting this was the one for my parents! Chad thought they probably didn't have a roaster that size, so we ran out in the cold to a pay phone and called home.

"Mom! It's Heidi, how big's your turkey roaster?"

"What?"

"Your turkey roaster, how big is it? How big a turkey do you want?"
"Are you in Houlton?"

"Yup, I found one that's 25lbs!"

I was so excited. We did get one for ourselves as well, a more reasonable 14lber, and we'll cook it up sometime after Christmas in the dead and boring winter months for a treat.

Successful turkey hunters!

Part-eee at the Billingtons!

Last night was a blast! The SSC Choir sang at Scott's Nursery Christmas Tree lighting community event again this year and afterwords Chad and I decided it would be fun to have some people over to the house for treats and social time. We couldn't decide who to invite, or more we couldn't decide who not to invite, so we invited all of the choir and their spouses if they wanted to come. I must admit I was completly suprised at the amount of people who said they wanted to drop by. Keeping in mind we have a MINI home, I was a little concerned we were going to have people looking to the flush for extra seating!

Anyway, it was fun. People piled in happily, sharing seats, sitting on laps and the floor just being cozy. I wish we had thought to take a picture of all the food. We had the extra leaf in our table and it was still just overflowing in treats! I'd say it was an overall success and people walked away having had a good time. Might consider making it an annual event!

watching the clock

so it's 12:07 and Chad and I went to bed aproximatly 1 & a half hours ago. Chad had this brilliant idea that since we've been getting to bed so late these last few nights or so our schedule is all out of wack and that is why mornings are so hard and we feel like crap. So, sounds like a plan, if warm milk was necessary he was going to bed at 10:00pm tonight. Well come 10:30 he did get himself to be so I thought I would try too.

12:08 but here we find me at 12:08 sitting on teh couch, wrapped in an afghan with my friendly laptop, passing the time. Oh, I intend to write some more, being the novelist that I am :P but is that really the point as I lie in bed listening to my husband saw on wood and I watch the clock to turn

12:09 ok so I am watching the clock turn out here too but at least I don't feel like I am disturbing him from sleep, alll right all right-truth be told! HE was disturbing me! Marriage makes ...what's that word when you can't sleep...ok maybe I shouldn't be writing tonight, I might regreat it when I look it over in the morning....marriage makes....ah google-insomnia seem so much worse! I should take that up with God later--when the pastor, priest, reverand or whatever waves the magic wand saying its alright to have sex now at the wedding ceremony, insomnia should be instantly curred as well. Insomniacs and marriage just don't work

12:12 I think I'll already regret the utter stupidity of this post come morning, so if we go for now...

A Spitting, Married Priest, With No Benediction

This afternoon between morning and evening services at SSC Chad and I went to the nursing home in town, Pine Grove. Once a year SSC is responsible for bringing them their afternoon chapel service and Chad & I have done it the last few years. We go and I play some hymns and lead a little song service and then Chad gives a brief sermon.

Today was hilarious, well actually last year was too. The people are great and are so appreciate of anyone coming in. Last year we met a couple ladies who loved to chat. They were there again this year. When we first came in the chapel, one lady was really interested in whether or not Chad was a priest, he started to explain that he was a pastor but she inturrupted and asked if he was ordained, to which he simply replied yes. Then he introduced me, Heidi, his wife to everyone. There were some definite strange looks from this lady-- a priest with a wife?

Things went pretty normally at first. I lead us in several hymns and there was a lot more singing this year which was nice. Then Chad shared his message to which he included a story about him spitting off the Camplino Suspension Bridge in Vancouver- I think it wasn't exactly audience appropriate, they didn't crack a smile or anything, and then it was time to wrap things up. One of the ladies needed someone to help wheel her back to her room and Chad decided to take her. It was hilarious, as I was filing the music back into it's appropriate place, this outspoken woman started asking loudly over and over again, despite being told, "Is the service over? Is the service over?" When finally she got it that it was, she was completly flabergasted, a service ending without a benediction?

All I could think of was the confusion that must be running through her mind, a spitting, married priest who ends a service without a benediction?

Date Night

Well, last night Chad & I went on a very fun Date night. Generally we have made it practice to go on a date night every Friday night. Time we spend just the two of us, doing things the two of us love to do together. It is good practice but we've had a really difficult time doing it, well really, since last Easter. Easter always throws things off with preparations for our Easter production at church, and it's hard to get back on track for anything before summer. Then when summer hits, well it's summer, and everything is all esque. Then Septmber happens, and frankly it's is September! Things are all up in the air with new programs, new schedules AND it's NOT summer! THe first couple weeks of September happend and then stuff just kept crawling up on Friday nights and our date nights got pushed to the side.

All of that to say, last night we went out on a great Date Night! We started, Chad leaving a tad earlier from work and headed off to Houlton to pay on the US student loan. As little fun as paying off debt is, Chad & I generally always enjoy the trip to Houlton, a time to talk and catch up and then check out cool deals at Marden's, cheap gas, and other cool stuff at the grocery store like cheap Turkey's and Walmart that they only have in the US of A. Often we will stop at the best Pizza Hut ever (beside Marden's) and splurge on their jukebox and eat yummy pizza with chunky chicken and veggies, but this time we just went to pay the debt and then headed over to Marden's.

Marden's was great this time around. Sometimes there is absolutly nothing but junk, but other times the saying is true, and we have said it several times "you should have bought it, when you saw it at Mardens!" When we walked in the door they had the nicest Christmas boxes and I just got so excited, buying two for special Christmas gifts. Wow, they will look great under those peoples Christmas trees! We picked up a few other Christmasy things and headed off to Walmart, where we got a couple of things, got a doughnut and some gas and headed back to Freddy town. I think, this just goes to prove again, we are easily amuzed.

Well if this wasn't enough, we then went to Regent Mall for Manchu Wok supper and a bit more Christmas shopping before going to a movie. You see, we had to buy film the other day and if you didn't know this already, when you buy film at Walmart you get coupons for free movies at the theatres. So we had two free tickets and decided to go see the new Will Ferrell movie "Stranger than Fiction" I must tell you, if you haven't gone, or don't plan to DO! It is great. Of course the adds on t.v make it out to be this huge comedy and frankly it wasn't hugely funny, but had a bit more of a thinking edge to it. So abandon any preconcieved ideas and head off to see this movie. I must admit it was great, especially for me this month as I'm endeavoring to push out this novel. Did I mention I'm over 27,000 words! yeah me!

So we got home around 12:30, after running to Sobeys to quench a Diet Coke urge (I know, I'm a walking comercial) and I walked in the doors of home, and no I wasn't called to the wonderful world of dreams, but instead, the Housework had my name all over it. So I tackled it--head on. For 2 hours. And at 2:30am I crawled into bed, satisfied. I am strange. I admit it. Never denied it.

Before I die...

As a kid I made this list of things I thought I needed to complete or accomplish, often by certain ages. For instance, I thought I should be published by 25, married by 27, fy in a plane by 27, go Overseas by 30. Of course the list that ensues grew over time. I have a chart where as I accomplish each thing I check it off and put the date beside it. Maybe it's a bit crazy, but man it certainly is fun to be able to check those things off as I get there!

TO DO:

Hug more often

Love being me

Love deeply

My family & friends know I love them deeply

Make a significant difference, have my life mean something

Milk a cow

Collect eggs from hens

Ride a horse for a significant time

Whale Watch

Learn to play poker

Gamble with $20 in a casino

Backpack camping

Drive through movie

Skinny-dip at midnight

Dance in a warm summer rain

See where Heaven & Earth Meet in Elgin

Sleep out under the stars, where there are no bugs or snakes or massive spiders!

Learn how to Swing Dance

Create and produce my own Greeting Cards

Pursue Photography

Get married by 27

Be a great Wife

Be a great Mom

Graduate BA

Graduate BED

Build a House

Fly by 27

Fly a plane by 35

Write a book

Be published by 25

Sky dive

Scuba Dive

Bungee jump

Travel across country by car for a summer

Spend a full day at a spa

Tour a Winery

Parachuting

Surfing

Drive a Motorbike

See Les Miserables

Take Mom to the Opera

Go on a Safari

Go on a Cruise

Go to Italy and eat gelato & Italian pizza

Go to Vienna for Christmas in the Alps

Dance The Waltz at a Ball

Go to London

Go to France have coffee on a curbside café

Go to California and travel the coastline

Go to Hawaii

Go to Africa

Go to New Zealand

Go to Mexico

Go to the Grand Canyon

Go to San Francisco and ride a cable car

Go to Prague

Go to New York for New Years

Go to Venice for a gondola ride with hubby

Go to China walk on the Great Wall

See the Northern Lights

See Mont Blanc

Visit a concentration camp

See Anne Frank’s house

Girls Day Out!

Yesturday was a full day!

I picked Sharon up just after 9am and we drove to Moncton where we met my Mom and Nanny at Champlain Place for some Christmas shopping! What a blast we had! We did a killing on some shopping and had a blast at the same time, even better! By 4:00 with a loaded cart and some seriously exhasted knees and feet we decided it was time to head home (ok. my Nanny was pushing the cart to hold herself up). Stuffing our purchases into the car Sharon & I headed back up to Fredericton. I'd say we had a great day and maybe it should become a bit of an annual trip!

Last night after supper, back her in Freddy town, I got to do one of the things I absolutly love, sit on the living room floor with all the Christmas gifts I've boughten for people, and wrap, wrap, wrap! It's not that I'm a particularly wondering gift wrapper, I just really love it for some reason. Chad was busy working on his sermon, so I had the living room to myself in my Christmas glory!

The Novel

So it's true. I've embarked on a new mission, one I've always wanted to do, yet needed a deadline and it has been provided. I've always wanted to write a novel, even started one a while back, but never got around to finishing it as there was no deadline, and I'm a kind of girl who loves a good deadline. Then a good 'ol friend of mine, Vicki, sent me a link to this online web page that gives you a deadline for writing a novel, she is setting out on this adventure as well. the point is to write 50,000 words in the month of November. Ambitious. The goal is to focus less on amazing quality and more on just pushing something out. So I thought, of all the times in my life when I might have the opportunity to pull this thing off-this would be the time! I don't have full time work, I don't have children, I can leave some of my household responsiblities for another day. Lets give it a shot. So I am. If I can figure out how to link you folks to it, you can check up on my progress from time to time. Wish me luck!

You can check out my progress, and grab an excerpt here if you're really bored today:
http://www.nanowrimo.org/userinfo.php?uid=168361

God Moments

Well I had a God moment of clarity last Friday. I know I am late in sharing, but better late than never, it has been a busy week with an especially busy weekend. Friday at school, the Principal and Vice Principal who were two of my interviewers in the job I was almost sure I had last week, pulled me aside to sing my accolades. They both sat down with me and told me that it was a really close call for the job. That of 35 applicants and 8 interviews I was in the top 2 with the woman who got the job. That I had a really strong interview and that they were all impressed with me. That when I left the interview one of the interviewers commented as I left "There is a woman of confidence! She is a born teacher!" It was a tough decision according to them, but they chose the woman with 3 years experience in a difficult teaching position over me. But they encouraged me to keep on keeping on and applying for those things coming down the road, that they expected I would have a classroom of my own soon. So this was very encouraging. One thing that I thought was just so nice, is the VP is a Christian and after debriefing me on my interview and building me up a bit, he asked if he could pray with me about the situation. What a priviledged situation. So I had a God moment of clarity. A few times over in one day. Then a teacher came up to me and said that everyone in the school knew I had the skills and was going to make a great teacher, and to keep with it. What a great way to end a rough week.

Then Diana Frost really spoke into my life this past weekend at the Women's Retreat out a Bar None Camp, where I was doing the music. How refreshing and what a reminder that God really does care about me. God Moments.

Stinker on Halloween

I'm a stinker on halloween. No, I'm not at the church for our big Kids party, no I'm not walking kids street to street as they collect their goodies, no I'm not at some great Halloween party with friends, no I'm not handing out treats to cutsie kids in costume. I'm home, alone, with the blinds closed and most of the lights out so kids won't have their hopes dashed on my doorstep--when there is no candy. Just a crankbox in her pj's laying on the couch.

So what happened you ask? I got sick. I haven't been feeling well for days, but it got me in my sleep last night. So in angony, I've been lying on the couch today, dozzing off and on. I do think I'm going to bother to have a long Halloween bath in a minute. But it's a pitiful picture. And I can't even be festive and hand out candy.

You see we don't bother decorating here at the house, or buying candy to hand out to the kids because we're both usually involved in the big Kids Party we have at the church every Halloween. This is a great time for the kids where they all arrived dressed up for tons of games and candy, cake walks, a bouncing house, a Walk of Faith where people are dressed up telling Bible Stories and giving out more candy. There is always a cotton candy machine and a popcorn machine....it's a blast for the kids and we all get involved.

So this year, as I'm not feeling well enough to go into the church, nor am I probably well enough to get up to the door and hand out candy every time the doorbell rings. I sit, well lay actually, in darkness. This allows for a bit of contemplation on Halloween itself. Wikipedia says:
Halloween is a tradition celebrated on the night of October 31, most notably by children dressing in costumes and going door-to-door collecting sweets, fruit, and other treats. It is celebrated in parts of the Western world, most commonly in the United States, Canada, the UK, Ireland, Puerto Rico, and with increasing popularity in Australia, New Zealand, as well as the Philippines. In recent years, Halloween is also celebrated in parts of Western Europe, such as Belgium and France.

Halloween originated as a Pagan festival (those who worship something other than the Christian God)among the Celts of Ireland and Great Britain with Irish, Scots, Welsh and other immigrants transporting versions of the tradition to North America in the 19th century. Most other Western countries have embraced Halloween as a part of American pop culture in the late 20th century.
The term Halloween, shortened from All-hallow-evening, as it is the evening before "All Hallows' Day"[1] (also known as "All Saints' Day"). A festival of celebration of all the Saints and martyrs in the Christian tradition.

Many European cultural traditions hold that Halloween is one of the liminal times of the year when spirits can make contact with the physical world and when magic is most potent.

So all of that to say, we've got an issue. Or, I do, as a Christian. Do I make a big deal of the fact that Halloween originated as a night of worship to other god's, not the One and true God of the Bible? Do I make a big deal that "some" present day practicing witches (Wicca etc.) still utilize Halloween as a festival of evil spirits, a night when they have greater access to evil spirits?

Or do I realize that in America, largely at least, this has turned into a popculture evening of fun for kids where they get to imagine and dress up and eat tons of candy, where they get to "spook" themselves out with silly stories, and movies, and Disney's randition of The Headless Horseman (to the horror of true Satanists and witches who find Halloween a mockery of their true beliefs)?

Do I join with Popes Gregory 3rd and 4th who attempted to turn the pagan festival into a religious holiday celebrating the DEAD Saints and martyrs (do you want me to start in on that one!) and then was really disappointed when it didn't work out for them? Do I call it evil, and ban it all. Or do I be a more liberal Christian, allow SOME of the celebration originated by witches and Satanists (or simply people without God) believing it in essence is not a Satanist revival in North America? Or do I simply take it as it is and have fun with it like the rest of the population with little knowledge of historical origins, or what the word PAGAN really means?

Traditionally? I have loved it all, having fun with the rest of the general ignorant population. My cutsie little sister being a witch with a pointed hat and orange hair made of crinkly yarn every year (and yes she is a beautiful, well adjusted, loving mother now), my other sister deciding last minute to be a ghost (last time I checked she wasn't praying to evil spirits either), me becoming Smurfette, or Punky Brewster (now that's probably the bigger fear). Collecting tons of treats, piling them up on the livingroom floor and sorting them according to how good the treat was. Then getting more excited to watch our Dad and his friend dress up and go play tricks on family friends. Saving discussions of Satanism and witches, and evil spirits for another time when the world I live in isn't making a mockery of Halloween for me.

In the Future? I suppose we'll see.

Halloween

What do you think? Evil? Pure fun? What about historic roots? What about Modern implications?

Wish you could see the awesome cake I made for tomorrow night's Fall Fun Night for the kids at church. I was trying to decide how to decorate it, what shape, animal or whatever my cake should be for the cake walk, when suddenly it hit me, just make a Candy Castle! Wow it is something else. I made it with my cathedral bundt pan and a tin can. I put the tall cake from the tin can, like a tower in the center of my bundt cake then covered it all in French Vanilla Icing. From there I put rows of coloured sour hard candies around the circumfrances of each cake. Big Gum drops on every peek. Big Gum balls around an icy square topped with a Hershey Kiss on top of the tower. Red licorice nib windows, and sprinkles all over. Pretty cool if you ask me!

Questions

Have you ever questioned all that you're about? I mean really seriously questioned it. How is it that I could think, from the time I was a little girl, that I was born to teach, and yet the journey there has been so difficult? Am I really off the mark?

I wasn't positive I had that job yesturday, but I was feeling really good about it. I thought I presented myself well, I was pleased with my conduct and responses. I felt that if I didn't get the job I wouldn't feel like I was a real looser, that I had screwed up seriously in the interview, and I don't feel like a major looser. Honestly that is a really good thing, but I am really disappointed. They called this morning and told me that I had a very strong interview but that the job had gone to someone else. They did say other competitions were coming up soon and to apply, yet I'm left with this feeling....not of being a looser, but seriously questioning this teaching thing. How far off the mark am I?

I have another interview in the morning for district 17, we'll see. But honestly, how will I do in an interview if I'm questioning things myself? I need a God moment of clarity.

The Visit

Mom & Dad came up to visit this past weekend. It was great. They arrived around 6pm Friday and we visited for a minute before heading off to the good Ol' Diplomat for supper. We hadn't had the presence of mind to call ahead and book reservations so we walked over to the Delta gift shop and checked out some lovely things. Ah to be able to charge $4.50 for a chocolate. That your clothing would cost more than $5.00 on sale at Suzy Sheir. The finer things, are nice, and capture my attention, but I don't leave feeling empty-- thanks goodness! I wonder how many people who can afford those things leave feeling empty with their hands full?

We ate way way too much-- and I wonder why I have weight issues! Anyway the conversation was great. It's been a long time since we've just sat down with my parents and talked when it wasn't about weddings, baby's accidents etc. It was so nice.

We came home and sat around for a bit, groaning about how much we ate and Mom helped me put the finishing touches on my poncho. And then I started getting ready for my interview and getting nervous so Chad suggested we'd be better off if we went to bed. I agreed and we all got in a great sleep.

Next morning I got my sandwiches together for the Baby shower and then we headed off with Mom & Dad and their friends to show off Freddy's best Downtown Market. Everyone enjoyed the experience despite the very cold and windy weather.

Chad & I split off from them and headed up to the church to prepare for the most fun baby shower. I always get a bit nervous that people won't show or there will be no food. But it was great! People showed up, there was more than enough food and on top of it all--get this--people really honestly had fun! Bonus :)

Things wrapped up really quickly and we headed home for a nap and an evening sitting around watching me put together my stuff for my interview (not that I'm anal retentive at all). Mom & Dad dropped by to say goodbye and head home. A short visit, but a nice one.

Then there was Sunday, full and exciting as usual. but that is another post.

The Interview

Well, today I had an interview. For a job I'd really love to have even. So now I'm in limbo, the waiting period. I sound Catholic. That place between Purgatory (not getting the job) and Paradise (having my own classroom, making a difference, financial help). I should know by tomorrow night at the latest, so that should help I would think, at least there isn't some long drawn out wait.

I think I did really well in the interview. I was nervous walking into a room with four interviewers sitting at a long wooden table, with me placed at the head. I started sweating from the start, and attempting to take those really deep calming breaths, as I spoke. I certainly never got control of my breathing, but I think I presented myself well, regardless. I really feel like if I don't get this job, it wasn't my fault, you know, it wasn't that I screwed up in the interview. Which should help with the looser-complex if I don't get the job. :)

Tonight while sitting at home waiting for a potential call I got another from Oromocto school district, and I have a job interview with them Wednesday morning, so I've got another chance at a job. We'll see.

Simply the Best! Savanna encounters Fall leaves!

a long afternoon

Well what do you do if you've got a long afternoon ahead of you while a new married couple frolicks around the city getting pictures of themselves in much too expensive get up? Well, if you're Heidi & Chad, which we just so happen to be, you take full advantage of a beautiful Fall day with your family and grab some pic's. So here we are, waiting for a reception of Turkey Dinner, out at Chad's Grammie Billington's beautiful spot, grabbin photo's.

The beautiful Autumn and equally lovely Savanna, enjoying the Fall foliage.

Aunt Heidi, Savanna & Mommy spending some quality time just hanging out in the grass and enjoying the wide open spaces.

A great pic of Doug & Melanie even if the sun is in their faces a bit. Look at those colours behind them!

Ah yes, and the old familiars, that would be us!

The Party Girl!

It's the beautiful Savanna, our party girl!

Goin to the chapel and we're gonna get married..

Matthew & Karla had a beautiful wedding day, last weekend October 14th.

The Happy Couple. The New Mr. & Mrs. Howell!

October Fun!

When Chad & I were in the US driving Anne E and Joel Calabrese to their flight in Vermont we had to stop off at the Adorable Children's clothing store in Kittery NH on the way back. Here we found the most adorable little Thanksgiving outfits for Savanna & Kaitlyn. They had these little poofy turkeys on the front and the words "my little turkey" written underneath the picture. They were so adorable, there was no question we had to pick them up. So when we got back, the highlight of course was getting the gift to Savanna. She was such a hoot, and of course she absoltuly loves the camera, and the shiny bag. Who were we kidding buying her clothes!

Obviously she has it a little backwards here with the stripped pants on her head, what a card!




But like Mother like daugther I guess.















Here she is, the little doll, in her turkey suit.

Thanksgiving Adventure

Every Thanksgiving since the dawn of time, our family has had our turkey dinner, cleaned up and then gone for a long drive out into the countryside. As kids we would stop along the creek and stretch our legs and play on the rocks. Year after year we would try to leave something different, pile up a bunch of rocks in the creek, carve our names in a tree, to leave a reminder we were there, and then next year we would look for it, but never find it. 11 years ago I had the bright idea of hiding a bottle somewhere. We put a note inside talking about our tradition and what had happend that year in our lives. Year after year Mom & Dad have returned, with as many of us as were able, to find the bottle and add that years update.
Here Kaitlyn, Grampy and Great Grampy stop for a rest before we head out on our adventure to find out bottle and see if it has survived another year.

I love this picture of Dad & Kaitlyn. It is so nice.

As part of the tradition, we all gather before we go down to the river and read the years updates. Because every year we wonder whether the bottle will survive another Mom comes prepared with another copy of all that we have, and another bottle to replace it if it is broken. Here we are reading the old, and creating the new before we go to our secret spot. It is Nanny & Grampy's first year joining us and we were all thrilled to have them. The rule is you have to be born or married into the family to join this tradition-- exclusivly Carson, no boyfriends, friends etc. They can join us for dinner but they have to stay up at the house while we go on the Thanksgiving Adventure. But since Nanny & Grampy started us out by giving birth to Mom ;) we thought it appropriate they come along. They were excited as well!

Got to love this picture of Angela and Kaitlyn. They are such a cute couple the two of them. Pees in a pod!

I insisted we get our family picture taken down by the river. The day was so beautiful and the colours gorgeous. Unfortunatly for this picture, the sun was also very bright, casting shadows and shining into our squinting eyes. Oh well, it's still a nice picture.

Now THAT'S a PUMPKIN!

April & Trevor grew a massive pumpkin this year. It actually weighed in at 50lbs and Chad had this great idea for a picture.

wow I'm tired

What a busy couple of days, well ok, weeks, but I've said that before. Wow I'm tired. And at 10:37pm after a busy day of work and then making the Marriage Course happen tonight, I should be headed to bed, but instead I find myself, blogging. Ah the blogger. I've got a whole butt load of pictures to post, but I think I will save that for tomorrow, and for tonight I will just ramble aimlessly as is my fashion.

I applied for a teaching position today. If ever thus far I have had the opportunity to get one, this is the best chance I've had so far- not that I've had tons of opportunities for positions thus far. I'm doing my best to pray God's will, that is ultimatly what I want, but sometimes it's hard for me to be hands off the steering wheel.

Mom & Dad are coming up for a visit this weekend! I'm really excited. I've been after them for ever to come visit me for a weekend. They've been up to visit a couple of times for a couple of hours but it will be the first time they come to stay. Of course things are really busy at home for them, with the baby, work and stuff, so it is an extra special treat for me...and now I need to be deligant about cleaning up the house. Exciting too--Chad will agree to putting heat on in the house again if we've got company :)

Well I should hit the sac. Lots to do tomorrow. At this point I'm not booked to supply, but one never knows what 6:15 in the morning could bring.

and it's only just begun.....and it's only just begun!

Wow, what a busy week! and it's only just begun (the business that is). I could begin by recounting all the crazy business of the last two weeks for you (vow renuals, Thanksgiving traditions, Sunday services, the Marraige Course, Supply Teaching, Chad's rediculous schedule at the church these last few weeks, but honestly I'm not sure that would accomplish anything other than get me all flustered and feeling more exhausted then I already do.

Chad & I just returned from Holten where we go monthly to pay some $$ down on our US debt Chad accrued at school in the States, and on the way there we found the sweetest little spot on the river. 1.5 acres off the old highway, right on the water. We thought it would be so beautiful to have a little cottage, a place to escape to, just 40 minutes out of the city. We could hear the waves lapping against the banks as we sipped tea on the little deck of our cottage, watching the sunset, the kids playing and laughing in the little valley dip below. Oh it was beautiful. I had finely tunned chimes blowing in the breeze, the windows were open, air blowing through the curtains. There was a swing, hanging from the great maple. Oh it was beautiful. Kayak's and canoes were stored in a little barn near the water's edge. I spent my days currled up on the deck in my pj's with a PD James novel. Oh it was beautiful.

So we called them up. Chad figured since the lot had no sceptic, and no well, and it was 40 minutes out of town, it would run around $15,000, I figured $25,000, so we called. Can you guess? Oh we're young, naive and broke! $100,000. For a piece of land, 40 minutes out of town on a deadbeat street, but with a view $100,000. that view is worth $90,000!! No wonder Chad & I live in a mini home, surrounded by mini homes, and it looks like we just might just need to stay there. I guess we could put bunkbeds in our shed for the kids. Ah, but we're happy! LOL!

Email Me Please

I tend to include personal photo's and information about my family and friends on my blog, and lately I've been reevaluating how "safe" that is. I'm not overly concerned about myself at all, but at the same time I realize the importance of being wise. So here's my proposition, if you read and enjoy my blog and would like to continue to see it, email me at heidi.billington@gmail.com and I will add your name & email (if I deem you safe) to the list of private emails who can access my blog.

Otherwise you will be able to check out more general musings from me at http://InkSpurts.blogspot.com

Thanksgiving

unfortunate to think I've been blogging about better days, the marriage course, thunder storms, hurrican Isaac, all for my own pleasure I guess. I must be just getting "emotionally healthy" since it seems I've been unable to post my fabulous deep thoughts.

Well tomorrow night (Friday) we have Karen & Don Lamey's vow renual, then we're driving to Elgin for Thanksgiving Tradition with my family, then back to town for Sunday services, and Chad & I have a bit of a Thanksgiving Day adventure of our own for Monday, so i should have lots of stories (assuming blogger will let me post) over the weekend!

seems I've been having trouble posting these last few days. I have posted a few times, but it looks like the post then disappears. POOF! interesting. We'll lets see if this one sticks around for any length of time

trial post

Happy October 1!

Well, it's October. Hard to believe in someways. Wow I feel better though! What a crazy few months I had. Change. I always thought I liked change, but maybe it's just busy change and various opportunities that I like so much... Not sure.

I have been working again. Getting several days of supply work each week. I would like more for sure, but I'm not sure how much I can expect this early in the school year. Teachers are still doing their darndist to stay in class at this point in the year. I wish I had some talent or ability, some way to still be around when Chad's church schedule allows him to be home, but helps me generate a bit of extra income too.... hum, the brains'a burnin for ideas....

Seems things have been really busy lately. Chad & I are really excited to start hosting Smythe Street Cathdral's first ever Marriage Course! At this point we have 27 couples signed up to take the course. Content is intense, but I'm really excited about the wide variety of couples' experiences those registered represent. We have everything from couples married just around a year like Chad and myself, to couples married 50+ years! I am so interested to hear their evaluations when the course finishes up!

I hear rumor of Hurricane Isaac touching down in the Maritimes tomorrow. Should be interesting. Although I pray no harm come to anyone, at the same time I am excited to see Nature's outburst! I guess it is the same fascination I have for thunder and lightning. When many are cowering under beds and away from windows, unplugging appliances, I am usually nosed pressed to the window pane, or sky gazing from the deck, 1 1000, 2 1000, 3 1000, waiting for that snap of illumination, or crack resonating through your body down to your toes. Fascinating.

The Lazy Bum gets off the Couch

Well today is my last day sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself. Well, I'm sure I will still have days where I sit on the couch feeling sorry for myself, but my supply teaching begins tomorrow. I am booked for 5 days, so hopefully the bookings will start up now and keep going.

The last month has been really hard, longing for a contract, facing the reality of life without one, making no money, watching everyone else go back to their regular, full routines. I don't know how people who don't work manage. It's the first time I've had in my life since I was 15 that I wasn't working, going to school, studying, volunteering, writing, being creative and trying to have a social life all at once.

I've been doing all kinds of things trying to express my creativity and keep myself busy. Cleaning, somehow has managed to stay low on that list of desirables. I have made bread numerous times (I can't wait for some decent yeast), cookies, muffins, supper. I have cleaned out the shed and the study. I have written a children's story I've wanted to write for years now. I got in contact with people I have wanted to for ages, written letters and cards, played in a garden, stained the deck, began writing in my novel again, become quite interested in a few t.v.shows (to my horror, the one eyed God has my attention!) Grey's Anatomy and Wind At My Back (a truly Canadian drama), and House (which I've loved for a year now), I've watched Oprah on occasion, and even Dr. Phil once, I've dreamed of doing a variety of things, emailed far more regularly, folded laundry far more often, and longed for social interaction in a real hungry way. I've become knowledgeable about ITunes and dreamed of travel. I've longed for work and questioned what I am to be about, what I am meant to do, where I am meant to be, who I am meant to be, how I can managed to be her. It has been an interesting season in my life.

A Glimpse

I was reading through my journal today and found this song I had written a few years back. Thought I'd share:

A Glimpse

In a heart so broken and filled with sorrow
Imagine what Mary thought;
As she knelt at the feet of the Master
And pained for the brother she had lost.

Just a glimpse of the hope that He offers
Just a touch of assurance from His hand…

It’s in the tears that slip from Jesus face
It’s in His love, arms opened to embrace
It’s in the truth that showers us with grace
He’s in this place.
He’s in this place.

On a blackened night the silence spoke
Of the Savior’s love from the cross;
As blood poured from the feet of the Master
Did they wonder at the heavy cost?

Just a glimpse of the hope that He offers
Just a touch of assurance from His hand…

It’s in the tears that slip from Jesus face
It’s in His love, arms opened to embrace
It’s in the truth that showers us with grace
He’s in this place.
He’s in this place.

Through this hurting world I will wait
I will seek the peace that He brought;
As I kneel at the feet of the Master
I will long for the truths that He taught.

Just a glimpse of the hope that He offers
Just a touch of assurance from His hand…

It’s in the tears that slip from Jesus face
It’s in His love, arms opened to embrace
It’s in the truth that showers us with grace
He’s in this place.
He’s in this place.

John 11, 19
~Heidi Carson
August 11, 2003

Harvest Jazz & Blues

Well it's here, Fredericton's own Harvest Jazz & Blues Festival! Tomorrow morning at 7:30 am, yikes! some of us will be meeting for the CBC Radio Harvest Jazz & Blues brunch where we will be singing and promoting the Playhouse concert tomorrow night. Smythe Street Cathedral Choir has the awesome opportunity of opening for Sista Monica! Check her out here at: http://www.sistamonica.com/index.html

This should be a real blast! I'm looking forward to having some fun with some great musicians and then sitting back, or maybe jumping to my feet with Sista Monica's charms-- woohoo for date night this week!

Celebrate! Celebrate!

Ok, another sucessful Saturday (after last weeks attack & success on the Shed)! Bright & early, migrane barely at bay, I headed in for choir practice for the Harvest Jazz & Blues Concert at the playhouse next friday night. Happily my headache seemed to subside throughout the morning and we finished early, ending at noon with a yummy stew Dot made for us. Dot is awesome!

I headed home with the headache rearing its ugly head--blasted thing--anyway, when I got home I fought it for awhile and couldn't take it any longer and went to bed and shut out all the light, I think I'm suffering from migranes or something. When I woke up I felt numb in my head, really weird feeling but I had things I had to do, so I attacked the bathroom cleaning, laundry and kitchen cleaning and by the time I finished those I was feeling the best I have in days. Relishing this, I decided today was the day to finish off the Study cleaning. That poor room since we've moved in has acumulated all the odds and ends, the things you just don't know where to find a home, along with say 300 + books, 150+ childrens books, 50+ recipe books, it's a full little room!

All of this to say with a satisfied sigh, I'm celebrating! I had tackled it earlier in the summer but there were still several boxes & odds & ends which have now been obliterated, everything that is supposed to be in the study is in the study, anything that isn't supposed to be in the study is gone! Yeah! Most of what we have now is in a deliberate place or we've gotten rid of it or put it in storage!

Celebrate! Celebrate!

4 things about me... (no life activities)

I decided to do one those because you have no life activity forwards a friend of mine sent along, so here it is....
Four Things about me
>
> Things you may not have known about me.....
>
> Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Dairy Queen girl Moncton
2. Summer missionary for Child Evangelism fellowship on Dallas native Reserve Manitoba, & St. John’s NFLD
3. Safe Spaces Director UNB
4. Research Assistant to the Chair of the History Department UNB


>Four movies i could watch over and over
1. The Pink Panther Movies (original)
2. The Sound of Music
3. A Walk to Remember
4. Star Wars


> I have lived Four places:
1. Moncton
2 Tilly Hall UNB Residence Fredericton
3. downtown & uptown Fredericton
4. Lincoln


> Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. House
2. Gilmore Girls (back in the day)
3. The Amazing Race
4. Everybody Loves Raymond (back in the day)


> Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Vancouver, Victoria, Kelowna BC
2. Cornerbrook & Gros Morne NFLD
3. Boston & Rhode Island (Honeymoon)
4. Bar Harbor


> Four websites I visit daily:
1. President Choice Financial Banking
2. Bible Gateway
3. my really cool blog site http://heidibillington.blogspot.com
4. District 17 & 18 employment information


> Four of my favorite foods:
1. Cheesecake—oh yum – oh yum
2. Thai food, all sorts – groan…..
3. Italian Pasta & oh Gelato yum yum
4. Chocolate ahhhhhh dark chocolate….


> Four places I would rather be right now:
1. New York city with some awesome fun girl friends, great sneakers and a limitless amount of money
2. Italy, oh Italy dream of mine!
3. Elgin on a storm day, snowed in
4. in my very own classroom, preparing for the next days awesomely fun and creative lessons

Savanna's 1st Birthday Party!

Savanna's birthday cake.

Savanna's 1st Birthday Party!

Isn't she just gorgeous! I love her cute smile! This is the birthday girl and I'd argue she knows it too! You should have seen her go! She took 28 steps unaided down our hallway, what a going concern!

Savanna resting in her new birthday present, a Winnie the Pooh lounger

Birthday princess

Savanna's birthday blueberries

Savanna & Mommy enjoy birthday blueberries

Savanna quickly figured out birthday time and opening gifts.

the birthday crew. Believe it or not this is just the crew in the living room, not counting those crammed into the kitchen and those on the deck. Somebody's a pretty popular baby!

it's the beautiful birthday girl!

'cuse you're all asking...

Ok, so no, I DON'T have a contract for the fall. Everyone's asking and frankly I feel like a major LOSER. Yesterday was so tough, everyone started back to school but me. I mean really, I know that hardly anyone I graduated with has a contract either this fall (yet anyway) but at the same time, I just feel it so hard. It's not about not having work. It's not even about not making money because I'll make enough supply teaching once it gets going. It's that I've wanted to teach since I was such a little girl and crammed my sisters into desk like paraphernalia and made our cabbage patch dolls sit in little desks my Dad made them and play school, with of course, me as teacher. Check out this pic!
It's that I feel so alive when I'm working with students, helping them learn some necessary skills but more importantly investing in their lives. I don't even know where to put my energy right now. I've started putting some more energy into my writing, which I haven't been able to do in years. I've just got to be doing something with some sort of lasting difference. I can't stand just working. I know I'm putting in my time until something comes along, I know that I will be making decent money, but in a lot of ways it feels so much like working at the Drycleaner again. Necessary work, to pay for necessary things, for basic living, but with no real meaning attached to it, I can't stand work/life like that.
So, thanks to all of you for caring, please feel free to pray for something to open up for me, but please don't ask me anymore. I need a bit of a break. I'll let you know if I get something! I will, I'll be so excited it will be written all over my face! Promise!

Our beautiful neices have both celebrated their 1st birthday's this past month and they both had their gorgeous little mugs taken. Here is Savanna. Isn't she a doll?

Busy days...

Ah, the busy days....

Wednesday Chad's Nannie from Bar Harbour arrived for a visit. It is always so much fun and such a pleasure to have her stay with us. I really enjoy having her around. She arrived for Savanna's 1st birthday party on Saturday.

Thursday evening I had a music practice for the HARVEST JAZZ & BLUES FESTIVAL yeah, the choir is singing!! (announcement to come), anyway but before that Chad & I went down to the bus station to pick up his brother Doug, who also was coming in for Savanna's birthday party. I really like Doug, he's a "real" guy, you know, the kind who know's how it is and doesn't pretend it's any different. hes fun, great conversationalist, smart thinker, and "easy" person to have stay in your house. So we acidentally got the times mixed up for when he was going to arrive so we just sat on the back of the car freezing our toesies off and hanging out.

Little side note here. There was this couple who arrived after we did and pulled in next to us. He got out and helped his wife get the walker out of the back for her. She sat down on the walker and waited. Meanwhile a young, voluptous woman in her early twenties came storming off and starting totally telling off her mother about some non-existant express, meanwhile we're left just staring beside her. I can't believe she's ripping into her mother like that (firstly), secondly she has absolutly no shame whatsoever to do this with us sitting right there. People today, absolutly no respect. Grunt.

Anyway, we really enjoyed having Doug & Nannie in and Friday I made my friend Donna Knappe's amazing Spicy chicken penne for supper. Yumm, yum. The Billington clan came over to decorate for the big party and we had yummy din din. Thanks Donna for the dish it is delicish!

And Saturday morning dawns. We were ready for a party. Savanna was such a doll. I can't wait to get the pictures back. She certainly got a good grasp on opening gifts and she had a butt load! So many gifts for someone so little! The house was full of celebrants, somewhere around 20 I think, what a party! it was a full day. Savanna had a blast, I think, and got such lovely things too. I love baby clothes-they're so great and tiny!

Sunday was a full day of church. In the evening desperation called and I played piano in the band for the Street Invaders finale. How awesome an evening to hear how teens were challenged by God's word and the importance of sharing the hope Jesus offers. They all seemed to be assured in their own worth in Christ too, which is great. We will have to continue to pray that now that they head back to their homes, the truths they learned will remain a changing and challenging factor in their day to day lives.

Dawn Monday morning. Bright and early Chad & I arrived at the church to meet up with Joel & Anne Calabrese. Their flight back to Colorodo Springs flew out of Vermont so we had agreed to drive them down and bring their van back. We had a really great drive of laughs and great conversation, and of course a few naps along the way. It's amazing how much more comfortable driving for long distances can be in a vehicle built with some comfort! :)

We saw wild turkeys! just walking along the highway. I've never seen a wild turkey before, it was kind of neat, although they looked pretty skinny for dinner. Do people hunt WILD turkeys anymore? The neatest little town called Sharon, Vermont, captivated my attention along the road. Just a few houses, a tiny town, nestled in among the moutains, those rolling moutains, in a tiny valley. I'd never been to Vermont before, the mountains are stunning, in a different way then British Colombia. The moutains of Vermont roll at different depths and you can see many of them in, kind of like a pop up, 3-D book, all at the same time.

We stopped for the night in Shelburn, near the Burlington airport and went out to a lovely restaurant called the Tuscan Kitchen, with dangerous garlic....ah the danger of garlic.....ah the delights of garlic.....

We dropped the Calabreses off at the airport and hit the road yesturday morning stopping off in Kittery for lunch. Ahhh Kittery, an amazing experience. Unfortunatly, or perhaps fortunatly for our bank account, we didn't have much time in Kittery, but we did stop off at Carters, a favorite of mine. They have the most adorable baby clothes. We got a totally adorable outfit for each of our neices for Thanksgiving, I'll definilty have to get a picture some how and post it around the holiday.

Anyway, that's the catch up on everything, I must go and do someone productive today!