Well today is my last day sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself. Well, I'm sure I will still have days where I sit on the couch feeling sorry for myself, but my supply teaching begins tomorrow. I am booked for 5 days, so hopefully the bookings will start up now and keep going.
The last month has been really hard, longing for a contract, facing the reality of life without one, making no money, watching everyone else go back to their regular, full routines. I don't know how people who don't work manage. It's the first time I've had in my life since I was 15 that I wasn't working, going to school, studying, volunteering, writing, being creative and trying to have a social life all at once.
I've been doing all kinds of things trying to express my creativity and keep myself busy. Cleaning, somehow has managed to stay low on that list of desirables. I have made bread numerous times (I can't wait for some decent yeast), cookies, muffins, supper. I have cleaned out the shed and the study. I have written a children's story I've wanted to write for years now. I got in contact with people I have wanted to for ages, written letters and cards, played in a garden, stained the deck, began writing in my novel again, become quite interested in a few t.v.shows (to my horror, the one eyed God has my attention!) Grey's Anatomy and Wind At My Back (a truly Canadian drama), and House (which I've loved for a year now), I've watched Oprah on occasion, and even Dr. Phil once, I've dreamed of doing a variety of things, emailed far more regularly, folded laundry far more often, and longed for social interaction in a real hungry way. I've become knowledgeable about ITunes and dreamed of travel. I've longed for work and questioned what I am to be about, what I am meant to do, where I am meant to be, who I am meant to be, how I can managed to be her. It has been an interesting season in my life.
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