I see you as your heart increases today; feeling it yourself
is inexplicable. The moment you saw her
tiny face, felt her soft warm head snuggle up under your chin, watched her tiny
fingers clasp yours, you knew it was different, you knew you were changed, but
there are no words made to adequately explain this feeling.
And you saw me today; a closer glimpse of who I am, your Creator,
the one who created her too. You felt a surge of emotion, laughter and tears as
you traced her delicately painted red lips with your finger and counted her tiny
toes. I crafted every detail.
I see you as you watch your parents awestruck by their
child’s child, your precious gift from me. A tear escapes your father’s eye and
runs down his cheek and your mother quietly gasps with a joy so deep in her
chest it almost looks like it hurts. Her
heart knows this feeling and is once again stretched beyond what she thought
capable. Your hearts beat once again as one for a moment.
This is love, my love and it is beautiful. This child is a
gift, my gift to you, let her change you.
I see you, toes curl in pain as you learn together with
your baby to feed him from your own body. I watch you sigh, tears running down
your cheeks as you watch him swallow and reach his hand to rest on your swollen
breast.
And you are tired. So tired, nodding off in light slumber,
baby clutched to your chest. “Why does he cry?
Why won’t he eat and be full? Am I good enough? Someone help me! No let
me take him…” You know a new truth, its as if your heart now beats in his
little chest and as he hurts you know nothing but to draw him back to yourself.
I see you. You are right, it is hard. So hard at times but allow
me to teach you the sacrament of Motherhood. Give yourself to me, lay yourself
down, die to your own needs for my purposes.
As you feel yourself overwhelmed with the inability to say yes to
yourself, give yourself to me and let me teach you to be like me. You are right
it is counter cultural, it is my way.
Trust me my child. I see you. I am here. I have felt your
heartbeat on my chest and I care for every detail of your life. I have held
your hand, my child, and longed to soothe you. If you let me, I will teach you through
this precious gift, to be like me and my grace will transform you into who you
are meant to be.
Dear Mother, MY child, loose your life for me and you will
find it.
Your father, God
Mathew 16:24 & 25