The Waiting Game

So I'm stuck in the waiting game. What a huge loss of control the last few weeks of pregnancy is! I mean pregnancy itself is just this major transition time, but towards the end when you realize you have absolutly no control of when this baby may decide to show up....wow, that is loss of control! I mean whether I'm driving Chad in to work in the morning, washing dishes, going for a walk, having people in, doing the regular typing for work...I never know, could this be the day? Sometimes I wonder if Baby B is ever going to come, then I think, oh my gosh we're going to have a baby and be PARENTS! We can't be parents! We're not mature enough to be parents (everyone assures me we're definilty old enough, so I guess it's the maturity issue that is bigger!) We're too selfish to be parents! Is it a boy? is it a girl? It he or she healthy? Will he or she be happy? So much not knowing! It's freaky, but it's exciting! You're not sure you can do it, yet you're ready--bring it on!

So what do we do with all this going on swirling around inside our minds? we wait...we wait because the nursery is ready, the house is clean, the bags are packed and waiting at the door, 78 servings of food are frozen and waiting in the freezer, grandparents are waiting for the phone to ring...we wait knowing that we have no control over when our lives are going to suddenly and unimaginably take this drastic and dramatic change forever.