'cuse you're all asking...

Ok, so no, I DON'T have a contract for the fall. Everyone's asking and frankly I feel like a major LOSER. Yesterday was so tough, everyone started back to school but me. I mean really, I know that hardly anyone I graduated with has a contract either this fall (yet anyway) but at the same time, I just feel it so hard. It's not about not having work. It's not even about not making money because I'll make enough supply teaching once it gets going. It's that I've wanted to teach since I was such a little girl and crammed my sisters into desk like paraphernalia and made our cabbage patch dolls sit in little desks my Dad made them and play school, with of course, me as teacher. Check out this pic!
It's that I feel so alive when I'm working with students, helping them learn some necessary skills but more importantly investing in their lives. I don't even know where to put my energy right now. I've started putting some more energy into my writing, which I haven't been able to do in years. I've just got to be doing something with some sort of lasting difference. I can't stand just working. I know I'm putting in my time until something comes along, I know that I will be making decent money, but in a lot of ways it feels so much like working at the Drycleaner again. Necessary work, to pay for necessary things, for basic living, but with no real meaning attached to it, I can't stand work/life like that.
So, thanks to all of you for caring, please feel free to pray for something to open up for me, but please don't ask me anymore. I need a bit of a break. I'll let you know if I get something! I will, I'll be so excited it will be written all over my face! Promise!